When Body Positivity Didn’t Work For Me, Body Neutrality Did

They say the hell is a teenage girl, and phew are they right. Today, I’m spilling the tea on something that’s made a massive positive impact on my life—body neutrality. Take it from me, I was growing up during the rise of the body positivity movement and despite that, my body image issues were at their prime. Then one day, I stumbled upon ‘body neutrality’ and my perception of self completely shifted for the better. 💙

Discovering body neutrality was like unlocking a secret code to a whole new level of self-acceptance, it’s crazy. I didn’t even know what it was because all we’re fed within popular culture and media is body positivity. Being body posi is great and all but I just personally couldn’t relate. How do I be positive when I’m told to ‘love even my flaws’ and I didn’t even know those natural things about my body were ‘flaws’ in the first place? It just didn’t work for me, and if you can relate even a little bit, please read on as I share my personal journey with body neutrality!

Growing Up Struggling with Body Image

Like many other hopeful young girls, I once pursued ballet. I loved it for a very long time until puberty hit. And one thing became apparent to me – I was curvier than the rest of my classmates. Comparison quickly became a normal part of how my brain worked. I longed for a leaner body, and then when I got older, I longed for the perfect Instagram body. I spent too much time looking in the mirror, hating what stared back, and wishing I looked different. It took years of my vulnerable pre-teen state to realize I’d developed body dysmorphia.

My battle with body dysmorphia played tricks on me. Imagine being clueless of what  you truly looked like. Sounds weird, kan? But I’m not kidding.

I would feel super ugly one minute, and if my ballet teacher told me I had a flatter stomach that day, I would instantly LOOK skinnier to myself in the mirror. It was super unstable. This warping of self-perception didn’t just mess with how I saw myself externally, it affected me kat dalam as well.  Boys grapple with it too in ways that don’t get talked about enough.

Discovering Body Neutrality

I discovered body neutrality while scrolling through the internet about body image issues and body positivity threads. What is it? Body neutrality simply means seeing your body as a well-functioning organism whose only goal is to keep you alive and healthy. It’s the art of accepting your body as it is, without tying it to your self-worth. The goal is to shift the focus from appearances to what your body can do for you.

This helped me realize that my worth didn’t depend solely on my appearance. My body is doing its best, and I have way more to offer than I think. Decoupling my self-worth from my looks was so, so hard as it affected every part of my life you’d imagine. But with time, forgiveness, and patience, I was able to get better at it.

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My Life for the Better with Neutrality

After walking the path of neutrality, I found myself comparing less and living more. It filled the gap that body positivity couldn’t, at least for me. Even the simple act of scrolling through social media became less toxic. I can enjoy it for what it is, instead of fussing over comparison. I mean I’m human and sometimes I do spiral, but picking myself back up is way easier now.

Shopping for clothes has become a million times less stressful, too. My goal these days is to just wear whatever looks flattering and makes me feel comfortable and confident. Instead of wasting all that energy, I now channel it into things that will enrich me, like reading.

I’ve also discovered new artsy hobbies, new styles of dance that better align with me, and connected with people who love me for me. Instead of nitpicking at everything I think is a flaw about myself, I just let the hyper-critical feelings pass through me like a visitor, instead of a permanent resident.

So to my fellow folks suffering from the same set of issues, I’m here waving the flag of body neutrality in hopes that you join the team if body positivity hasn’t been able to serve you. Food tastes better, victories are sweeter, and somehow I’m loving myself through it all.