These days, it’s easy to get caught up in numbers, how many “friends” or followers you have on social media, how many people viewed your story, or how many likes your post received. But let’s be honest: do hundreds or even thousands of online connections actually mean you have meaningful friendships?
I used to think more friends meant more happiness. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. Today I am sharing with you about letting go of the quantity trap. And instead, learning how to build friendships that are deep, real, and built to last, especially for us navigating life in a hyper-connected world.
Friends everywhere, but still lonely?
Wanting to fit in is completely normal. We all want to feel accepted, especially when we’re in school, university, or even starting our first job. But sometimes, trying to be liked by everyone leaves us feeling lonelier. I’ve had moments where I was surrounded by people, group chats blowing up, tagged in photos, but inside, I felt completely unseen.
I’ve had moments where I was surrounded by people… but inside, I felt completely unseen.
That’s when I learned a tough but freeing truth: it’s better to have one or two meaningful friendships than ten surface-level ones. The kind of friends who notice when you’re quiet, not just when you’re reposting reels on your story.
Shared passions make stronger bonds
Think about the friends you feel closest to. You probably have something in common, maybe you both love K-dramas, debate social issues, or can talk for hours about that one underrated curry puff stall near school. These shared passions aren’t random. They’re powerful tools for building real connection.
When you do the things you love, like playing a sport, joining a theatre group, coding a game, or volunteering at an animal shelter, you naturally meet people who get you. These aren’t just random friends; they’re potential teammates in life. These shared experiences lay the groundwork for meaningful friendships that go beyond “hey” texts and emoji reactions.
Friendships take effort, not just emojis
Let’s be real, friendship isn’t always convenient. Sometimes it means replying even when you’re tired, showing up when it rains, and listening without interrupting. It’s easy to leave a comment on someone’s post, but it takes effort to actually call and check in.
Meaningful friendships are like plants, they need attention, time, and consistency.
Meaningful friendships are like plants, they need attention, time, and consistency. You don’t have to plan grand outings at the mall every week. Even simple things like studying together, sending a voice note, or meeting for an icy cold cup of milo can keep the connection strong. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s being present.
Online doesn’t always mean real
Social media is a double-edged keris. It connects us but also fools us into thinking we’re close to people we barely know. Just because you reply to each other’s stories doesn’t mean they’ll be there when you really need them.
Online chats are great, but they’re not enough. Real trust is built offline, through laughter, conversations, shared silence, and showing up. The next time you’re tempted to scroll endlessly, consider texting a friend and planning a real-life hangout. To build meaningful friendships, you sometimes have to log out and lean in.
It’s okay to be selective with your energy
Here’s something I wish I knew earlier: not everyone who smiles at you is your friend, and that’s okay. Friendship isn’t about being available to everyone, it’s about choosing people who support you, inspire you, and respect your boundaries.
You don’t need hundreds of friends to feel whole, just a few who really know and love you.
Do a quick vibe check: do your friends encourage you? Celebrate your wins? Respect your “no”? If not, it’s okay to distance yourself. Your time and energy are limited, save them for the people who truly deserve it. After all, meaningful friendships should make you feel lighter, not drained.
Less noise, more realness
In a world full of noise, finding quiet and real connection is rare, but incredibly worth it. Meaningful friendships don’t happen overnight. They grow when we show up with honesty, care, and consistency. You don’t need hundreds of friends to feel whole, just a few who really know and love you.
With International Day of Friendship coming up this July, I’m taking a moment to reflect: Who are the friends that matter to me? What small step can I take this week to grow those connections? Send that message. Make that call. Say thank you. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about being popular, it’s about being truly seen.
READ >> 5 things I’ve learnt from (almost) losing a friendship
So true! In a world trying to gain likes, there is a false sense that acknowledgement is authenticity. Like anything that is worth working toward or fighting for, relationships are rewarding after you invest in the effort.