As a self-proclaimed activist and #Girlboss, I’d like to think I’m able to stand up for myself. However, my encounter with gender-based hate speech a few months ago was one that really made me question how much I was able to stand up for myself. Here’s my story.
It all started when I was engaged in a heated conversation with two male classmates about the infamous internet debate: Whether there were more wheels or doors in the world! Remember that?
My mates and I are having the STUPIDEST debate…
And I am here for it.
Do you think there are more doors or wheels in the world?
— Ryan Nixon (@NewYorkNixon) March 5, 2022
#TeamWheels, by the way!
I was busy defending why I believed wheels were more abundant (cars and MRTs, obviously!), when I realized a little too late that the debate had turned into a personal attack against me and my gender. Both of my classmates claimed my opinion was ‘stupid’ because ‘girls don’t know anything’.
What started as a fun debate while waiting for class to start ended up becoming a classic case of gender-based hate speech. My confidence in my stance plummeted, and I drowned out the boys’ continued arguments as I pondered, “Why did they have to target my identity?”
”According to the United Nations, hate speech is any public expression of hate towards the identity of an individual or a group. It can range from discrimination against race, religion, sex or sexual orientation. Most importantly hate speech can exist both online and offline.
Raised in the social media era, I know all too well that the easiest thing to do when someone is being unkind to you is to block them. But, you can’t just press buttons and block someone who is standing in front of you! (Believe me, I’ve tried).
So what do you do?
What I did after receiving offline hate speech.
1. Reassured myself.
When faced with hate speech, it is very easy to feel guilty or as if you had done something wrong. Guess what? That feeling is very valid. With their words echoing in my mind throughout the next few periods at school, I tried to reassure myself that I am worth more than their sexist comments.
2. Told someone trustworthy
I also decided to talk to a trusted female teacher who ended up sharing that she had experienced something similar in secondary school. This made me feel better as I knew that I was not alone. She applauded the fact that I did not stoop to their level and retaliate with hateful comments and reassured me that telling someone was the right thing to do.
”3. Gave myself some self-care
After a draining day filled with emotions, I was in need of some self care. I spent time with my family and we watched some comfort movies! (Old Disney movies anyone?). I also gave myself patience as I knew that I needed time to heal and rebuild my confidence.
4. Stood up for others
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, I learned to stand up for others that are in my position. The next time the same classmates directed hateful comments towards my friends, I showed solidarity and support towards my friends. Ultimately, encouraging myself and others to not remain silent when faced with hate speech.
Despite wishing that I had the option to block the boys’ hateful comments IRL, like I can on Instagram, I believe that this experience has taught me a lot about my own self-worth. Together, we can fight against hate speech!
READ: Hate speech among risks of a fake online world
nice
❤