Have you ever rediscovered something you posted years ago and thought: why on Earth did I post that? It’s the kind of embarrassment that makes me wish that version of myself never existed – and hope everyone else forgot too. That feeling is what we now call the fear of being cringe.
The Internet doesn’t help, either. Before, people could forget. Now, screenshots and reposts can turn private embarrassment into public entertainment under the guise of “cringe culture”. The fear of being cringe has moved from the privacy of our heads to the very public archive of the Internet.
So, where does the fear of being cringe come from?
The fear of being cringe is actually…
The fear of judgement. Being perceived by others is a nightmare, even for me.
Except it wasn’t always like that.
In Tingkatan 1, I submitted anime fan fiction to my seniors at school. Yes, seriously. When I was applying to become a writer for the yearbook committee, I was asked to send in my proudest work. Apparently, my “proudest work” was a romance between a nameless self-insert and a fictional character. I can feel your reaction behind the screen already.
You’re feeling something called secondhand embarrassment. It’s the same feeling as hearing your parents use slang like “rizz” and “aura” to be cool. Imagining yourself like that makes you lie awake at night, hoping your blanket swallows you whole. That’s the fear of being cringe. What if I was acting like that without realizing?
But 13-year-old me didn’t feel the fear of being cringe at all. I probably didn’t even know what it was – but the Internet makes sure most of us do now.
How cringe culture feeds the fear of being cringe
You might hear “cringe culture” and think it’s just Internet humour. But it’s actually a way of policing what people are allowed to say, post or even like – based on what society finds embarrassing. The fear of being cringe doesn’t just affect individuals. It gives us a reason to judge others.
I’ve seen it on my daily doomscroll. A TikTok of a student’s backpack covered in anime merchandise, captioned, “Is it okay to bring this to school?”. Many comments advised them not to. Even adults said, “Jangan dik”.
When asked why, they replied, “To protect them from bullying”.
At first, that made sense to me. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that their “protection” was really projection.
The concern was valid, but the advice felt more like policing. If we wore that in public, we would feel embarrassed because of others’ judging eyes. But in discouraging that student, we became the eyes we’re so afraid of.
That’s when I thought of my younger self. If I was 13 years old in this society, I wouldn’t have even considered submitting that fan fiction. Maybe I wouldn’t have tried out for the yearbook committee at all. I would be too scared to be overenthusiastic. To be cringe.
So, if you find yourself in the same spot as that student, here’s my advice.
The right people don’t care about cringe
What stuck with me most was the encouraging comments from other students. “Go for it!” they said. “If I saw you at my school, I would want to be friends!”
It reminded me that the people worth keeping around are the ones who not only share your passions but support them. My closest friends love me for who I am because they’re not afraid of being themselves either. They show me their fan art, I tell them about the time I wrote fan fiction, and there’s no judgement.
I’ve seen this most clearly when attending anime conventions with them. When you’re walking through a hall of die-hard fans, you quickly realize everyone knows they might be seen as “cringe” – but their enthusiasm is what connects them. Finding others with the same niche interests and geeking out over merchandise together is what makes the experience worthwhile.
That’s why being yourself matters. The fear of being cringe tells us to hide parts of ourselves, but they might be the exact thing that someone else loves about you.
“To be cringe is to be free”
That’s the quote I used as the Head Writer for the yearbook committee, three years after I first applied with that fan-fiction.
My unabashed, sincere enthusiasm was what showed my seniors I was the right one for the position. If I had let the fear of being cringe control me, I would’ve never had that opportunity. In fact, I wouldn’t be writing this blog if not for all the cringe fan-fiction I’d written growing up.
It’s scary to be yourself, but what’s scarier is losing your authentic self in the sea of people aiming for nonchalance. You don’t need to be less cringe. You just need to be less afraid of it.
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