When I was younger, I trusted my tuition teacher more than anyone. To me, he wasn’t just a teacher, he was a mentor and a friend. He gave me extra attention, praised me and made me feel special. For a boy who just wanted to be seen and encouraged, it felt good. But what I didn’t realize was that I was already surviving child sexual grooming.
Sometimes, danger looks like friendship
At first, it felt like kindness. My tuition teacher gave me gifts – toys, expensive stationery, little treats. He asked me to stay back after class, telling me things he didn’t share with others.
Sometimes danger looks like kindness – and that’s why I didn’t realize I was already being groomed.
But there was a catch. Every time he said, “This is our secret, don’t tell anyone,” I felt uneasy. As a child, I thought secrets meant trust. But now I know: no adult should ever ask you to hide things from your parents or loved ones.
That was the first red flag I didn’t see.
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Grooming doesn’t start with fear or threats. It starts with trust, attention, and care that feels safe – until it doesn’t. Sometimes, he made me feel uncomfortable, even though I couldn’t explain why. I felt torn between enjoying the attention and sensing something was wrong.
Why boys struggle to speak out
As a boy, I felt even more trapped. Society tells boys to “be strong”, to stay quiet about their feelings. I kept wondering: What will people think? Will they laugh?
The turning point came when I finally told my older brother. I couldn’t find the words to explain everything, but just saying out loud that something felt wrong gave me courage. My brother believed me, and together we told my parents. That was the moment I realized what happened wasn’t my fault – it was grooming.
I thought staying silent made me strong, but telling my brother the truth was the moment I finally felt safe.
If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, I would say: “Say no. Tell your big brother. Tell someone you trust. You don’t need to carry this alone.”
Why it’s never your fault
It took me years to understand what happened. And for a long time, I blamed myself. I thought I must have done something wrong. But here’s the truth: it was not my fault. Grooming is never the child’s fault.
Groomers are skilled liars. They break trust and twist care into control. If this has happened to you, it doesn’t mean you are weak. It means someone betrayed your trust. And you still deserve love, respect, and healing.
Surviving child sexual grooming – and thriving
Growing up, I realized that my silence only protected my abuser. Speaking out gave me strength. That’s why I chose to turn my pain into purpose.
What helped me heal was the support of my family and later, friends who stood by me when I began sharing my story. Their belief in me reminded me that I was not broken, and that gave me the strength to keep going.
Today, I travel across Malaysia to create awareness about child sexual grooming. I share my story because I know there are many children, boys and girls, who are still afraid to speak. I want them to know: they are not alone.
To reach more children, I wrote Zri and His Friends, a storybook on child sexual grooming, written in 10 languages. This book was even recognized by the Malaysia Book of Records.
I was once silent. Today, I speak – so no child in Malaysia ever feels alone in their fear.
My message is simple: if an adult treats you differently, gives you gifts, or asks you to keep secrets, that is not safe. Trust your instincts and speak to someone you love and trust.
Our voice matters
To every survivor: your voice matters. Sharing your story might feel scary, but it can save lives, yours and others.
I was once silent. Today, I speak. And I will continue speaking until no child in Malaysia suffers silently from grooming. I’ll keep speaking so that one day, you can tell your own story of surviving child sexual grooming.
Editor’s Note: Who you can talk to in Malaysia
If you ever feel unsafe, or if you know someone being groomed, these are safe resources:
- Talian Kasih 15999 – a 24/7 helpline for children and families.
- Befrienders KL (03-7956 8145) – for emotional support if you feel alone.
Thank you, Nazri, for your courage. Speaking out is never easy, but your voice will protect so many others. Truly inspiring.